randomisations.

i feel as if i'm on top. of a hill. not a mountain, cause i could feel better than this. but this is goooood. =)

i was looking at the facebook profiles of my really close friends, and i noticed that most of them used my pictures as their defaults. it isn't significant, i know, but it feels more than fulfilling to know that the 'work' i do is appreciated. let's be honest... i'm not that great of a photographer. forreal. but i love taking pictures for many reasons. i love that digital technology is combined with an old art and creativity of the mind to create a still frame of an endearing moment in time. the techie in me can draw out the creative side of me that has been hidden for a very long time. and i love capturing these moments. priceless moments, precious moments. this is why i love candids... capturing smiles and gestures at their most natural state. but i digress. seeing that my work is appreciated... my goal is accomplished. i constantly kick myself for composing horrible shots. but although composition is VERY important, at the end of the day, all i want to do is capture memories that will last a long time for everyone to see and enjoy. and i think i've done that. which is more than fulfilling.

another thing that is so fulfilling is having a best friend. and really, there's best friends, then there's biff. i can't thank you enough for being you. idunno, forreal i haven't been this close or this open to anyone else since liz. yeah, okay, the only thing that was different was that i had feelings for her. but yeah, i digress. strongest friendship i've ever had, and i can say that honestly. really, and i've told you this before (and you've experienced it with neil), it's not the amount of time you have together but the quality of the time spent. look at you, you're much happier with neil in less than a month than you've ever been with rb in the span of a year and a half. in the same way, we've grown more in a couple of months than we have with our other friends over a number of years... (btw, this means I'M RIGHT. means I PWN. xD) thanks for caring more than anyone else. thanks for just... being there. you get me, and that's what i like the most about this whole thing. who woulda ever thought that you and me would be best friends? i mean, at the beginning of the school year i didn't expect you to be more than an 'okay' friend. nahmeans? but the best things are def unexpected. aand btw, i still have to write down that list of promises. hehe. amen for second chances. =) gosh no one's ever been this good to me...

i'm glad biff & i promised forever. cause what's about to come for all of us is a test of willpower. school is only going to get harder from here, and not only that, we have to worry about working. and after a while, we'll have to accrue some of our parents' debts as repayment for raising us for so long. we'll be working our asses off... and the financial crunch isn't helping. i'm already feeling it... but it's my fault for insisting on getting a bmw. but i'm not a little kid anymore... i can't just wish that the bmw turned into a nice vw diesel that gets great mileage plus is probably easier on maintenance. (well i lied about maintenance. but hooray for diesel.) in a couple of months i'll be assuming the payments for the car. and before it seemed like a really good idea, cause of co-op and all.. but now idk. maybe i'm just freaaaking out about the future, lol.

the future... marriage. he's just not that into you pops into my head again. the proposal at the end of the movie will always get to me. that guy is ingenious... i never would've thought about using old jeans she hates to hide the ring. but he was rigit before, though. he didn't believe in marriage because marriage was all pomp and circumstance when what was really important was the bond between a man and a woman, and as long as they know they share it, they don't need to broadcast it with the world. because they're not inlove with the world, they're in love with each other. and that's it. no one else needs to know... i really like this philosophy, but if i ever told my parents this they'd slap me. ahahah.

parents. i want a job asap. i want to pay rent. why? so that i don't feel like i'm chained to this house anymore. i mean yeah, they've gotten more lenient over the past months, but really? treat me like i'm five? i hate it. i hate it also when they repeat themselves 98156195 times. and when they ask 34924519856192 questions. DANG I MADE MYSELF FREAKING CLEAR THE FIRST TIME! if not, then THE SECOND. STOP ANNOYING ME, I HATE IT.


i can say that i'm happy. but of course, i'll be happier when fate lends me a helping hand with love. it's still a long way away, but i'll be waiting. =) it's nice to be second in someone's life, because i feel important still. but it would also be nice to be first in another person's life. which is the aim. ;]