LOL, though it was only last year.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Cute Baby, Ugly Teen?
On the wall above my piano hang three portraits. The first portrait from the left is of four-year-old me, wearing a striped black-and-grey baseball shirt and khaki shorts, clutching a plush dog. The second one is a drawing of four-year-old me in the same clothes but in a different pose. All the way to the right is two-year-old me, in a snazzy black suit, white dress shirt, and red tie. In each picture, my face is a kind-of-but-not-really pale Asian white, not a Caucasian white, with cheeks that are “sooooooo cuuuuuuteee,” according to people who have seen the portraits. The smile on my face in all three is one that (I think) I can replicate now; it’s a my-cheeks-are-hurting-please-stop-taking-pictures type of smile that still ends up pleasing to the eyes. When friends and family come over for little gatherings, they don’t notice the glimmering piano recital trophies, the clinking academic medals, or the decaying piano. Their eyes immediately glance up at the wall, mesmerized by the portraits, muttering (or shouting), “Aww! You were so cute! What happened?” It never bothered me until Mr. Delo gave out the personal causal analysis assignment. Now I wonder, what did happen?
One of my godsisters reminds me about my baby portraits every time I see her. She claims that the innocence in my baby face is something that I can’t imitate now, even if I tried. “When you were little,” she explains, “when you did something wrong without knowing it, your face was just so cute. Now, your face doesn’t look the same, and it’s partly because you’re older and you know right from wrong.” Another godsister agrees. “You were such a chubby little innocent-looking boy. Now you just look nerdy!” My best friend has a much simpler reason. “It’s because,” she whines, “you’re too old to look cute.”
So, I got older; that’s what happened. My godsisters were right. I didn’t know anything except for what my parents taught me. My parents taught me right from wrong since I was born, but finding me in the kitchen with a broken plate would end up in an “aww, look at his face” reaction from other people. Growing up, however, it was expected of me to be proficient with right versus wrong, and seeing me in the kitchen with a broken plate would end up with me being scolded. There’s something about a cute baby face that I can’t copy anymore, because I’m too mature to mimic the face and the mindset.
Is there really a cutoff age for being cute? Mke, a weekly magazine from Milwaukee, asked six people their opinions on age and cuteness. Five out the six people (the sixth didn’t answer the question) said that there’s no age that’s too old for being cute. An internet blogger, whose username is Jezebel, says it’s a girl thing: “Cooing uncontrollably over my ex-boyfriend’s ‘little old man’ baby picture… reminded me of the way my roommate talks to her cat, and my mom talks to her dog and miscellaneous other spontaneous women-type stuff: like oh-my-god is it some hormone that causes this stuff?”
In an essay written for thisisby.us, a website that exhibits good writing, a writer (known only as ‘moreanonymous’) believes it is the perception from other people that make the baby cute. “Usually children who were conceived accidentally rate high on the adorable scale… because they’re unexpected….” (I fall into that category; I was an accident. Like the Confederacy, I was “made in Virginia.”) “As these babies grow up, however,” he writes, “they get less and less cute. It’s because of the knowledge they acquire.”
On Valentine’s Day, 2006, I sent my best friend a little note with four-year-old me as its background. She can’t get over “how cute I was.” All I hear from her is “I just wanna pinch your cheeeeks!” and “Eww, you’re so ugly now, you’ll never be as cute ever again!” She likes to rub it in, just to make fun of me. It’s probably true that I’ll never look or act the same again, but that’s a good thing. Too many girls would be hounding me otherwise.
One of my godsisters reminds me about my baby portraits every time I see her. She claims that the innocence in my baby face is something that I can’t imitate now, even if I tried. “When you were little,” she explains, “when you did something wrong without knowing it, your face was just so cute. Now, your face doesn’t look the same, and it’s partly because you’re older and you know right from wrong.” Another godsister agrees. “You were such a chubby little innocent-looking boy. Now you just look nerdy!” My best friend has a much simpler reason. “It’s because,” she whines, “you’re too old to look cute.”
So, I got older; that’s what happened. My godsisters were right. I didn’t know anything except for what my parents taught me. My parents taught me right from wrong since I was born, but finding me in the kitchen with a broken plate would end up in an “aww, look at his face” reaction from other people. Growing up, however, it was expected of me to be proficient with right versus wrong, and seeing me in the kitchen with a broken plate would end up with me being scolded. There’s something about a cute baby face that I can’t copy anymore, because I’m too mature to mimic the face and the mindset.
Is there really a cutoff age for being cute? Mke, a weekly magazine from Milwaukee, asked six people their opinions on age and cuteness. Five out the six people (the sixth didn’t answer the question) said that there’s no age that’s too old for being cute. An internet blogger, whose username is Jezebel, says it’s a girl thing: “Cooing uncontrollably over my ex-boyfriend’s ‘little old man’ baby picture… reminded me of the way my roommate talks to her cat, and my mom talks to her dog and miscellaneous other spontaneous women-type stuff: like oh-my-god is it some hormone that causes this stuff?”
In an essay written for thisisby.us, a website that exhibits good writing, a writer (known only as ‘moreanonymous’) believes it is the perception from other people that make the baby cute. “Usually children who were conceived accidentally rate high on the adorable scale… because they’re unexpected….” (I fall into that category; I was an accident. Like the Confederacy, I was “made in Virginia.”) “As these babies grow up, however,” he writes, “they get less and less cute. It’s because of the knowledge they acquire.”
On Valentine’s Day, 2006, I sent my best friend a little note with four-year-old me as its background. She can’t get over “how cute I was.” All I hear from her is “I just wanna pinch your cheeeeks!” and “Eww, you’re so ugly now, you’ll never be as cute ever again!” She likes to rub it in, just to make fun of me. It’s probably true that I’ll never look or act the same again, but that’s a good thing. Too many girls would be hounding me otherwise.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
"because if you can drink ram's piss, f***, you can drink just about anything!"
LMAO. that line's from a movie that i love love LOVE. beerfest. yeah, i know, i always fall for those stupid movies. eurotrip was freaaaakin' amazing, too! hahaha. but i also like the cheesy, filipino love movies that are so fictionalized it's crazy. i can't stand those scary movies, but some of them turn out to be more funny than anything else.
anyway ... it's been a good two weeks since i last blogged here; shame on me! hahahaha. and might i say. i've been TOTALLY busy these past couple of weeks. last week was the week of jumpstart, the orientation program that the school provides for those scared little incoming freshmen. it's still hard to fathom the idea that i'm a senior now. only four short years ago, i was an 8th grader, scared of graduation and what lay beyond that. now, i'm only 10 short (or long?) months away from graduation, and for some reason i canNOT wait for this year to begin. it's going to be awfully challenging, but i'm looking forward to it. i want to straighten out my school life; take better notes, be more organized, perform tasks in a timely manner, etc. it's going to be hard to stick to that, but i'll try my hardest.
ANYWAY! back to the recap. monday and tuesday were our (the peer leaders') training days. i was assigned to work with an english teacher and a classmate of mine. we didn't have a classroom; rather, we had to organize a party(?) of some sort, like some further icebreaking between those scared freshmen. welcome to the neighborhood was the theme. and on thursday, when everything we planned came to fruition, i was very pleased. it turned out quite well.
this past sunday was one of the best days of my life. we had a barbecue at our quaint little house, and i invited a ton of people over. the usual godbrothers and godsisters came over, but a couple of special people came. first was my classmates. both weren't filipino, yet they mingled so well with the others. one of them is white, but until sunday, i never knew how much we were alike. he's like my brother-from-another-mother. and two people i hadn't seen in forever came to my house. one i've known for forever (since 1994, actually); one i only met two years ago.
yet those two girls are the most important (non-family) people in my life. they have made such an impact in my life; i don't know what i'd do without them. these two (and one more that couldn't come because she was (and still is) in germany) are truly my bestfriends in this life. i was glad that i was with them.
the best part of sunday was the game of taboo. it's a great game, where you must get your teammates to say a word on a card without saying the four or five words on the card that you're not supposed to say. it's a hard thing to explain, but it's the greatest game ever. my team won, but there were soo many laughs and smiling faces that i think everybody was the winner.
as my summer dwindles down to almost nothing, i sit here, dwelling on the past, on all the mistakes i've made, and all the accomplishments i've attained. i'm glad to say that, despite whatever i've said before, i have no regrets. if the bad things haven't happened, it's more than likely that i won't be where i am today. i know that everything that happens happens for a reason, and though i can't explain my faith in the Lord and what He has planned for us, i know He's there and it's real.
it's more than likely that the next time i post a blog here, i'll be a full-fledged senior, blogging about how stressful the year is and how i wish it was still summer. but for now, i'll just leave by saying i can't wait for senior year. =)
or rather, i'll leave by posting a part of the lyrics of a song that one of my bestfriends (the picture on the left) sang for me: (the song is called "kung maputi na ang buhok ko" by soapdish)
kung tayo ay matanda na
sana'y di tayo magbago
at kailanma'y
nasaan ma'y ito ang pangarap ko
makuha mo pa kayang
ako'y hagkan at yakapin, ooh
hanggang pagtanda natin
nagtatanong lang sa'yo
ako pa kaya'y ibigin mo
kung maputi na ang buhok ko
k, goodbye. :D
anyway ... it's been a good two weeks since i last blogged here; shame on me! hahahaha. and might i say. i've been TOTALLY busy these past couple of weeks. last week was the week of jumpstart, the orientation program that the school provides for those scared little incoming freshmen. it's still hard to fathom the idea that i'm a senior now. only four short years ago, i was an 8th grader, scared of graduation and what lay beyond that. now, i'm only 10 short (or long?) months away from graduation, and for some reason i canNOT wait for this year to begin. it's going to be awfully challenging, but i'm looking forward to it. i want to straighten out my school life; take better notes, be more organized, perform tasks in a timely manner, etc. it's going to be hard to stick to that, but i'll try my hardest.
ANYWAY! back to the recap. monday and tuesday were our (the peer leaders') training days. i was assigned to work with an english teacher and a classmate of mine. we didn't have a classroom; rather, we had to organize a party(?) of some sort, like some further icebreaking between those scared freshmen. welcome to the neighborhood was the theme. and on thursday, when everything we planned came to fruition, i was very pleased. it turned out quite well.
this past sunday was one of the best days of my life. we had a barbecue at our quaint little house, and i invited a ton of people over. the usual godbrothers and godsisters came over, but a couple of special people came. first was my classmates. both weren't filipino, yet they mingled so well with the others. one of them is white, but until sunday, i never knew how much we were alike. he's like my brother-from-another-mother. and two people i hadn't seen in forever came to my house. one i've known for forever (since 1994, actually); one i only met two years ago.
yet those two girls are the most important (non-family) people in my life. they have made such an impact in my life; i don't know what i'd do without them. these two (and one more that couldn't come because she was (and still is) in germany) are truly my bestfriends in this life. i was glad that i was with them.the best part of sunday was the game of taboo. it's a great game, where you must get your teammates to say a word on a card without saying the four or five words on the card that you're not supposed to say. it's a hard thing to explain, but it's the greatest game ever. my team won, but there were soo many laughs and smiling faces that i think everybody was the winner.
as my summer dwindles down to almost nothing, i sit here, dwelling on the past, on all the mistakes i've made, and all the accomplishments i've attained. i'm glad to say that, despite whatever i've said before, i have no regrets. if the bad things haven't happened, it's more than likely that i won't be where i am today. i know that everything that happens happens for a reason, and though i can't explain my faith in the Lord and what He has planned for us, i know He's there and it's real.
it's more than likely that the next time i post a blog here, i'll be a full-fledged senior, blogging about how stressful the year is and how i wish it was still summer. but for now, i'll just leave by saying i can't wait for senior year. =)
or rather, i'll leave by posting a part of the lyrics of a song that one of my bestfriends (the picture on the left) sang for me: (the song is called "kung maputi na ang buhok ko" by soapdish)
kung tayo ay matanda na
sana'y di tayo magbago
at kailanma'y
nasaan ma'y ito ang pangarap ko
makuha mo pa kayang
ako'y hagkan at yakapin, ooh
hanggang pagtanda natin
nagtatanong lang sa'yo
ako pa kaya'y ibigin mo
kung maputi na ang buhok ko
k, goodbye. :D
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
awkward.
there was a girl i once knew. we met at an association cotillion type of thing, around two years ago. and we were the best of friends. we always talked to each other. and whatnot. i'll never forget an outing the group had at ... oh, i forgot the place. but she kicked me in the butt out of nowhere and said, "you have a nice butt." LOL. i'll never forget that.
as time went on, we became close. no, we never went out, if that's what you're thinking, but i really liked her. like, almost in love with her. but i chose to stay bestfriend, and i liked it when she was happy, and she was happy when we were together, ofcourse. we were great friends. but she liked a friend of ours much more. she fell head over heels for him. and he was a good person, so why not? they got together. and we stayed best friends. (oh, might i mention, we went from bestfriends to mu. i'll never forget that day either. but whatever.)
about a year afterward, i got a text from her boyfriend. "she wants to break up with me or something, she's been acting shady the last couple of months..." i was totally surprised and upset. i didn't talk to her as often when that happened. so they broke up. and she totally changed. communications were severed between us. i didn't do anything, i guess she needed new company?
now, it's another year after that. and i hadn't seen the girl in a year and a half, almost two years. i was at the fiesta, and lo and behold! look who i saw: the girl and the guy. i guess they were doing fine, i knew that they started talking and such again. and when i saw her, she smiled. but it was the type of smile that was kinda mysterious. i tried to make conversation, but it was really awkward. idk why.
today's her birthday. i greeted her. and she said thanks, bebe. which was weird, because she hadn't responded to any of my comments on myspace or facebook in the past year. i want to open communication between us again, but i don't know how without it being awkward. ehh =(
as time went on, we became close. no, we never went out, if that's what you're thinking, but i really liked her. like, almost in love with her. but i chose to stay bestfriend, and i liked it when she was happy, and she was happy when we were together, ofcourse. we were great friends. but she liked a friend of ours much more. she fell head over heels for him. and he was a good person, so why not? they got together. and we stayed best friends. (oh, might i mention, we went from bestfriends to mu. i'll never forget that day either. but whatever.)
about a year afterward, i got a text from her boyfriend. "she wants to break up with me or something, she's been acting shady the last couple of months..." i was totally surprised and upset. i didn't talk to her as often when that happened. so they broke up. and she totally changed. communications were severed between us. i didn't do anything, i guess she needed new company?
now, it's another year after that. and i hadn't seen the girl in a year and a half, almost two years. i was at the fiesta, and lo and behold! look who i saw: the girl and the guy. i guess they were doing fine, i knew that they started talking and such again. and when i saw her, she smiled. but it was the type of smile that was kinda mysterious. i tried to make conversation, but it was really awkward. idk why.
today's her birthday. i greeted her. and she said thanks, bebe. which was weird, because she hadn't responded to any of my comments on myspace or facebook in the past year. i want to open communication between us again, but i don't know how without it being awkward. ehh =(
Sunday, August 19, 2007
philippine fiesta, day 2.
wowowee. LOL. that place was MOOORE packed than yesterday! my goodness. basically it was the same thing as yesterday. the only difference was that today, piolo and pops did a duet of "bakit ngayon ka lang" (whereas yesterday pops took someone out of the crowd to do the duet). nothing major. but the crowds. they say it was the biggest fiesta to date. 28,000? something like that. craaaaaazy!
and yes, the guards were back today, and it was kinda weird. my godsisters found out that if they waited outside the room where the stars were, they might have had a chance of going in. but the guards were only letting in the people who were flirting with them. it was kinda depressing. BUT THEN my godsisters ran outside and were able to catch a glimpse of the stars leaving, so they waved. and the stars waved back. i guess that's an acceptable consolation prize.
yeah, i think yesterday was a bit more boring than saturday. i enjoyed saturday more.
and yes, the guards were back today, and it was kinda weird. my godsisters found out that if they waited outside the room where the stars were, they might have had a chance of going in. but the guards were only letting in the people who were flirting with them. it was kinda depressing. BUT THEN my godsisters ran outside and were able to catch a glimpse of the stars leaving, so they waved. and the stars waved back. i guess that's an acceptable consolation prize.
yeah, i think yesterday was a bit more boring than saturday. i enjoyed saturday more.
philippine fiesta, day 1.
yesterday was the first day of the philippine fiesta. it was a whole lot of fun. i (kinda) worked with bank of america, but i didn't do much. i really just walked around with godsiblings. we saved spots on the side of the stage very early just so that we could have a good view of the stars when they came up. and we got pretty good pictures. but then we were pushed back by some stupid guy who's not even filipino. he was just a guard. that really pissed me off, but whatever. haha but when piolo pascual approached our side, i was (pretty much) bumrushed by all the girls in that side. ouch! that hurt. lol but i think my pictures are pretty good. (those up there are the best of each person that i got.) lol it all ended at around 10pm.
just some random thoughts from the fiesta:
- i couldn't help but be very annoyed at the white guard who was pushing us back. he didn't seem to understand that this was a once-in-a-lifetime thing that may not ever happen again. the filipinos there chose to stay in the states, yet they have a right to miss their homeland, which is a big part of the reason of the fiesta. so he should've just let some things go. it wasn't like the stage was gonna collapse. even the black lady guard was like idunno what he's up to.
- some filipinos, they feel like they're the most important person in the world. when you have (what feels like) 900 million people like that at an autograph signing of a very popular actor (such as piolo pascual), that creates a whole lot of mayhem. and angry people. when piolo and pokwang were signing autographs, i couldn't help but stand back and laugh at all the people there, because they were starting to get mad. why? because they felt that they should get an autograph. and when they get it, their egos just skyrocket. not so good, haha!
- the entrance fee and the food and drinks are way too expensive there. the food and drinks are triple the price! jeez. a combo that would cost 5 dollars otherwise cost 9 dollars at the fiesta. almost double! and then a 20oz can of soda that would cost 50 cents outside cost a whole 2 dollars in the fiesta. QUADRUPLE THE PRICE! crazy.
well, there's another day of the fiesta today. we're going late =( which is kinda why i'm not very happy with my parents right now. it's not like we're doing anything at home either ... oh well.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
trying out this mobile thing
I'm blogging from my phone right now. I think that's really cool, that you can do that. Anyway, fiesta is today. I'll post pics later.
Friday, August 17, 2007
my first time on blogger.
hello all! it's my first time on blogger. and EYO! this thing's quite cool! haha. i don't expect many people to be reading this, primarily because i'm going to (try my hardest to) keep this thing a secret. but knowing me, that's not gonna be for a long time. HA! jeez.
summer. i thought that summer was going to be fun! and i guess it was ... but it's so boring! it was okay at first. but after the trip to florida, summer became a bit ... dead. i can't believe it, but i'm looking forward to school.
philippine fiesta is tomorrow and sunday. i don't know if i should go tomorrow, i don't think i want to go alone. we'll see.
until next time ...
update.
EW! they showed a stupid ending for lovers in paris! THEY DIDN'T SHOW THE REAL ENDING =( that's so ... gay.
summer. i thought that summer was going to be fun! and i guess it was ... but it's so boring! it was okay at first. but after the trip to florida, summer became a bit ... dead. i can't believe it, but i'm looking forward to school.
philippine fiesta is tomorrow and sunday. i don't know if i should go tomorrow, i don't think i want to go alone. we'll see.
until next time ...
update.
EW! they showed a stupid ending for lovers in paris! THEY DIDN'T SHOW THE REAL ENDING =( that's so ... gay.
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