weird, but i'm amazed.

first off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CIANYL MAE :D


okay. so umm this afternoon, as you could tell, i was out of it. like. beyond depressed. haha well not in the clinical sense, cause that would be kinda bad. but yeah, i was in pretty bad shape. then nightfall came, and something inside me told me to watch love actually. so guess what? i did.

at the same time, i was talking to biff and messaging my other good friend terry. and i have these two to thank for my epiphany.

sabi ni tanga (11:51:12 PM): i like that line though

sabi ni tanga (11:51:17 PM): i think our lives have just begun

sabi ni astig (11:51:24 PM): yeah

sabi ni astig (11:51:26 PM): its really nice

sabi ni tanga (11:51:33 PM): yeah =]

sabi ni astig (11:51:39 PM): it's so true in so many ways

sabi ni tanga (11:51:47 PM): hm/

sabi ni tanga (11:51:50 PM): how so

sabi ni astig (11:52:29 PM): well you obviously. your new life has just begun and its blossoming into something way more beautiful that what you've ever had

sabi ni tanga (11:52:40 PM): awww

sabi ni astig (11:52:55 PM): me, i just woke up and realized nothings gonna happen unless i try

sabi ni astig (11:53:10 PM): mae, she's in the same boat as you, growing in love more and more each day with james and its really awesome

sabi ni tanga (11:53:20 PM): =]

i hate to say it, but first realization is that i'd proudly be a third wheel for either of these couples. they treat me like i'm part of them, you know? not like romantically cause that would be just awkward. but really, when im with either of the pairs (or both) i don't feel left out at all. and i'm so happy that they're pulling for me. and that they're there for me no matter what.

esp biff. i came into this thing thinking that i'd be the savior, saving her if she fell. but nope, she's on the clouds and i'm the one that fell. and lo and behold... she was the one that saved me. she and her boyfriend. i owe a lot to them, i really do. and i like the reassurance that she won't leave me aside like she did last semester... i feel better. she'll always be there for me, and i'll always be there for her. thank goodness neil's okay with it. if any girl i ever go out with has a problem, then she's gone. sorry!

another thing i realized is something biff, mae, and neil have been telling me for a long time: take chances. you know that i'm the safe type. the last time i ever did something like this "successfully" was in eighth grade. and maybe i haven't done something like this is because of how that turned out. that was ... really messy. and i hated that i lost her forever. then there was freshman-sophomore year of high school, when i tried to take a chance but she was just head over heels for the other guy. but theyre nothing more than learning experiences now, and thats how it should be. and i think soon will be another learning experience. and i can't be anything but optimistic about this rendezvous but, if it fails, i just learn.

sabi ni astig (12:01:17 AM): if i cant sense anything, then promise im done forever.

sabi ni astig (12:01:22 AM): if i sense something, let the homewrecking begin

yeah, this is how its gonna be. btw, done forever = done with her forever. not with the idea. i cant just let one thing ruin my outlook forever... cause thats bull. "it's not how you fall but how you pick yourself up." :D one of the best things biff ever said.

so forget what i said before, and here's to a future of nothing but happiness. yeah? yeah. =)