"and it seems such a waste of time,
if that's what it's all about.
mama if that's movin' up,
then i'm moving out."
- billy joel, movin' out (anthony's song)
lol, so the last post was made with a really hot head. and, like the old saying goes, cooler heads always prevail. no, i'm not mad anymore. but i'm still upset and confused. they weren't kidding when they said that moving on is one of the hardest things to do. it's just so hard when the object of your affection for the past semester finds someone else, and it hurts more cause i probably could've done something before. but no more 'coulda, woulda, shoulda's. i'm done with that. lesson learned.
so with a head held high, i soldier on, ready to face new challenges. i know i shouldnt feel this way but i feel like there's no one out there. i feel like everyone's found someone. and i'm left alone.
lol i get jealous of my friends sometimes, because they've all found someone. and it's hard because a lot of the times, they are my happiness but they need to be with the ones that make them happy. and yeah i guess me being a part of their lives makes them happy too, but it doesn't compare with the happiness they feel with their significant others. and i'm left behind. i'm happy for them, no doubt, but the old question arises: when will it be me?
a lot of times i wish i had someone to be alone with, because whenever im in the dorms everyone else has that one other person to be with, so they leave the dorms. and a lot of times i'm left alone with two people who deserve their alone time as well. i feel like i'm a burden sometimes to mae and james because i'm always around them. but really, i feel like i have no one else...
its not their fault, it's my fault. i need to learn how to make the most of being alone cause thats how its gonna be for a very long time.
so here's to learning the attributes of solitude.
3 comments:
Psssh, come on now Richard. James and I love your company. We get enough alone time as it is at night so no need to feel like a burden. It's usually the other way around. We feel like we're the ones burdening you always asking us to come with us places and whatever. We love your company.
Know that we're not just a couple but a bunch of friends. We don't treat you as a third wheel (well I dont think so) and we just act like normal friends.
We love you as much as we love each other and James and I are grateful to have you as one of our friends.
LOVE YOU <3
word richard, i've only known you for a short time and your a pretty awesome dude. i always tell justine how much i like you as a human being. you got a lot going for you.
dont worry richard, youre a great person and you will find someone out there. i know exactly how you feel being i use to have that same mentality back when i was alone. i was always thinking "why does everyone have someone, and why do i have no one?" it used to get me down, but i just pressed on with my life and realized that as long as i have my friends i'll be alright. and thru my friends i was able to find someone. i wasnt alone anymore. the time will come bro, so next time u see an opportunity, take it with no hesitation. it may hurt sometimes, but its better than letting it pass then looking back and wondering what if i did something earlier.
look at my blog of a poem i wrote back in the day. its called "never a goodbye" it seems like it kind of relates to you. cheer up bro, everything will be alright
aww what a cute comment from neil up there ^^
but anyways.. well, I've told you a million times. But I'll say it again. You're not alone. You've got ME, I'll always be here for you. Doesn't matter that I have a boyfriend now. I'm not gonna do what I did last semester and just ditch you. Lol, me and neil will hang out with you if you feel alone cuz he likes you too. lol. BUT YOU AINT EVEN ALONE MISTAAHH! you got me and your other best friends and the massives and now neil. DUHHH dumb dumb! haha.
just like mae, i love you toooooo.
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